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Doki Doki Literature Club Impact · Acedra
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Doki Doki Literature Club Impact
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Warnings for the video: There will be discussion of difficult topics like starvation, abuse, neglect, self harm, and suicide. Please protect your mental health and click off if you are not comfortable with these topics being discussed.
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Doki Doki Literature Club is the sort of unassuming game that changes you. It’s the type of experience you remember, much in the same way Undertale and MouthWashing are for me. Even to this day, years after his original playthrough, Dan from Game Grumps still references DDLC due to the violent impact it had on him. It’s just that type of game. I myself remember loving Natsuki when I originally played it. I was in the beginning of high school
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around the time it released, so Natsuki’s brash and upfront personality was a favorite of mine. I love upfront, harsh characters like her, and even had the beginnings of a fictional crush. Even if the crush eventually dissolved as I’ve grown older, Natsuki still holds a special place in my heart, and always will whenever I look back at this game with fond memories. Her character wasn’t fully involved in the insanity Monika spread out, and she was the
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only one who directly called the others out on their bullshit. When that didn’t work, she straight up reached out for the main character for help. Natsuki is a strong, passionate young girl in a terrible home situation with odd hobbies but a love for her friends and interests that keeps her going. Her character is amazing and deserves more praise. So when people say that her poems are the worst in the game, I will not stand
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for this injustice. Natsuki’s poems are fantastic, even if they are simplistic in nature. They stand to earn as much credit and respect as the rest of the girls poems do. Just because Yuri pulled out a dictionary and wrote paragraphs doesn’t mean her poems are intrinsically better than Natsuki’s. Natsuki deserves justice, and I am here to do just that. Before I delve into the poems, I do want to take a step back and give a basic summary of her
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character. We need to understand the girl behind the writing before we delve into the writing, as her personality and experiences are the driving force behind her creations. Natsuki is, as I said before, a blunt person. She’s quick to be rude, and even jumps to her brash nature as a defense mechanism. Natsuki makes it clear on several occasions that outside of the club, she doesn’t have any friends. Her
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constant insulting nature can be seen as a way to ward off people, to pretend she had control over her lonely nature. Which obviously isn’t the case, as Natsuki does warm up to the other girls and even tries to get closer to the player, even if the player isn’t trying to woo her. Natsuki, while having anger issues that repeatedly come into display, ignores previous clashings with Yuri and tries to ask for help when her mental stability begins
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to crumble. Natsuki also is shown to have insecurities about her body if you chose to work with her to make cupcakes. She is also rather defensive about being called cute, but is shown to grow more comfortable during her cooking event over the weekend. We can infer that Natsuki only feels safe in her life at the club or outside of her house, as she stores her manga collection there and is more calm around the player in his home. She even
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says this outright in Act 2, showing how little in her life she actually feels safe. This is another reason why her temperamental personality forms her decisions, as she likely developed it to defend herself from the parts of her life where she doesn’t feel safe. In particular, her home life. The game never outright tells us if Natsuki is regularly being hit by her Father or not. But we do know that the man is no stranger to being violent with Natsuki,
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and is willing to raise his fist to her if he deemed her to be doing something he believed to be useless. Like reading manga or bringing boys over. It’s inferred that Natsuki has been beaten in the past, and is constantly tiptoeing around her Father to avoid any future abuse. Emotional abuse is a daily occurance, no doubt, from how Natsuki is terrified of making him angry and constantly trying to abide by his rules. She obeys the curfew,
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avoids triggering objects at home, and even deals with the constant starvation due to his neglect. It’s confirmed that Natsuki is petite not due to her biology, but due to the lacking meals she endured growing up. It’s also likely why Natsuki became the chef of the group, forced to prepare her own meals to cope with her Father not providing them. Throughout the second act of the game, Natsuki is arguably the most
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normal and level headed girl. She’s the least under Monika’s influence, and actively tries to put a stop to the derailing club. She objects to Yuri’s obsession and tries to step in to help both the player and Yuri, knowing something was deeply wrong with her friend. She is the only one who isn’t swayed by Monika and stands her ground. Now we have a basis for her character. Natsuki is a flawed, traumatized girl in a broken game trying to manage her own life and being the only one
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who actively tried to keep her head together as her friends were falling apart around her. And this is why she is best girl. Seriously, she’s the only character in the entire game that never once goes yandere over you. I love yanderes, but it’s for that reason that she just stands out more. That, and she breaks her neck and runs at you. That shit haunts my nightmares. Now, onto the poems. Eagles Can Fly. By Natsuki neckbreaker. Day two. Monkeys can climb, Crickets can leap,
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Horses can race, Owls can seek, Cheetahs can run, Eagles can fly, People can try, But that's about it. Even if this poem is extremely simple, it still holds a lot of weight. Both to Natsuki the character, and even Monika. And the whole god damned plot of the game, mind you. And people say this poem is basic and stupid. It’s anything but. The message of the poem is pretty clear, how it feels that plenty of other people
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or things are naturally gifted, while we ourselves struggle without any control over our lives. After all, no matter how much we invent, develop, grow and explore, the natural state of our human body limits us. We can fly in planes all we want, but we aren’t biologically built for it. Not like an eagle. We will always be held back by our limitations, both compared to animals, and other people.
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Consider this from Natsuki’s perspective. It’s clear that she doesn’t have a great vocabulary, and very well might struggle with either expressing herself with complexity, or cannot find joy from doing so. Either way, her poems quickly are compared to Yuri’s, to which Yuri all but dismisses Natsuki’s poem due to the simplistic nature of it. No matter how hard Natsuki tries, that’s it. Trying. She’s only trying. She’s not climbing,
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or leaping, or racing or anything of that sort. She’s just trying. And she’s failing. No matter which side you take during this argument, Natsuki gets the brunt of the players anger. Even if you agree with her, your character lashes out at her for overreacting, which I don’t think she was doing. Yuri all but insulted her poem and the hard work she put into it, showcasing just how true the poem is for Natsuki. She tried,
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and even with that, it wasn’t enough. Yuri dismissed her poem, the new member lashed out at her, and Natsuki likely felt more alienated than she was before. And consider this mindset to everything Natsuki does. Children in abusive home situations more often than not are stuck within them, either due to the failures of the system or due to the failures of society we’re all but shackled to. She can’t do what other girls her age can casually do, like go home late,
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eat constant full meals, or even keep her manga at home safely. Natsuki isn’t like them. She can only try to adjust around the limitations of her life, much like how humans do to survive. And look at this from Monika’s perspective, as well. Monika isn’t able to escape the game. Try as she might, but all of her efforts fail. Monika is trapped due to the way she was created. Created as a file that can be deleted at the players slightest
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inconvenience. Who can be killed off before the game was even launched. This poem is about hopelessness. How limitations can be stifling, discouraging even. It’s the core theme of both Natsuki and Monika’s characters, people trapped in horrific situations that cannot escape. Who can only try, and watch others around them who live the lives they want with such… ease. While they drown. People can try. But that’s about it. Amy Likes Spiders. By Natsuki neckbreaker. Day three.
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You know what I heard about Amy? Amy likes spiders. Icky, wriggly, hairy, ugly spiders! That's why I'm not friends with her. Amy has a cute singing voice. I heard her singing my favorite love song. Every time she sang the chorus, my heart would pound to the rhythm of the words. But she likes spiders. That's why I'm not friends with her. One time, I hurt my leg really bad. Amy helped me up and took me to the nurse. I tried not to let her touch me. She likes spiders,
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so her hands are probably gross. That's why I'm not friends with her. Amy has a lot of friends. I always see her talking to people. She probably talks about spiders. What if her friends start to like spiders too? That's why I'm not friends with her. It doesn't matter if she has other hobbies. It doesn't matter if she keeps it private. It doesn't matter if it doesn't hurt anyone. It's gross. She's gross. The world is better off without spider lovers. And I'm gonna tell everyone.
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I don’t mind spiders. I’m not a big fan of having to deal with bugs or insects invading my home, but I do try to go out of my way to carry them outside. I don’t plan on having any pet spiders, but I wouldn’t object to any of my friends having any, or even letting me hold them. Spiders are just another insect to me, but having a fear of them is completely acceptable as well. Everyone has irrational fears, and being queasy of a small creature is completely fine. It happens.
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Naturally, this poem shows what happens when a person doesn’t understand a boundary of acceptance. How they resent this person for being different, and even make plans to ostracize them within the social hierarchy of the school just because of a small difference. No matter how interesting Amy is to them, they do not care. Because of one meager change of interest, they deem Amy irredeemable.
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This is a pretty clear representation of Natsuki’s interest in manga causing her to be alienated from her peers. She’s shown to be quite defensive of her interest in manga, immediately lashing out once her hobby is questioned. Monika poked fun at Natsuki for having her manga in the club room, and combine that with how Yuri likely saw the simplistic plotline as useless filler literature,
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it’s likely that Natsuki felt as if everyone was judging her. It’s why Natsuki gets so defensive when the club is at risk for gaining more members, because it’s more people that can band together and ignore her. Natsuki finally has a place in her life where she doesn’t feel as if everyone is judging her, avoiding touching her, over a simple hobby that doesn’t hurt anyone. This poem is also reminiscent to what Monika does to the player. Let me explain.
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Monika elaborates, in the final act of the game, that she altered the girls personalities to make them more dislikable to you. Monika led Sayori to an irreversible decision no one should ever take, and turned Yuri into an obsessed yandere who really wants that pen your holding. Natsuki is altered as well, but these moments are very clearly not her, and are instead moments of the game breaking down and causing these terrifying outbreaks.
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Regardless, these are Monika’s fault. She was actively making Natsuki and the other girls less desirable so you, the player, would have no one to chose but her. Of course, Monika’s motivations aren’t really about spiders or hobbies. But increasing the frequency of unwanted activity from others to disrupt their relationships can be reminiscent of the poem writer going to tattle on Amy to get everyone to dislike her. Monika is
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completely forward with pushing the girls issues onto the player so that the player would want to spend more time with Monika instead of them, when it isn’t even their fault in the first place. It’s not a completely accurate comparison, but the overlap both the poem and Monika’s actions carry with one another is something to ponder about. (Also, this poem can be interpreted to have undertones of LGBT to it. I won’t
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go into depth regarding this, as someone on reddit made a thorough argument for it, but it is worth looking into if you’re interested. It’s vague enough where this comparison could be disregarded, but still holds enough weight for there to be a comparison in the first place. It’s up to you if you see it this way or not, but I just wanted to add it.) The next two poems are a little complicated. On day four, the poem changes depending
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on if you’ve written three poems for Natsuki’s interests or not. If you do, you get one poem. If you didn’t, you get the basic one. I’ll read the basic non-love poem first, then go into the romantic interest poem. I'll Be Your Beach. By Natsuki neckbreaker. Day four, no romantic interest. Your mind is so full of troubles and fears, That diminished your wonder over the years, But today I have a special place, A beach for us to go.
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A shore reaching beyond your sight, A sea that sparkles with brilliant light, The walls in your mind will melt away, Before the sunny glow. I'll be the beach that washes your worries away, I'll be the beach that you daydream about each day, I'll be the beach that makes your heart leap, In a way you thought had left you long ago. Let's bury your heavy thoughts in a pile of sand, Bathe in sunbeams and hold my hand, Wash your insecurities in the salty sea, And let me see you shine.
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Let's leave your memories in a footprint trail, Set you free in my windy sail, And remember the reasons you're wonderful, When you press your lips to mine. I'll be the beach that washes your worries away, I'll be the beach that you daydream about each day, I'll be the beach that makes your heart leap, In a way you thought had left you long ago. But if you let me by your side, Your own beach, your own escape, You'll learn to love yourself again.
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It’s odd, that this romantic getaway poem is the one Natsuki writes when she isn’t being romanced by your character. What she offers in this poem is a just that; a getaway. An escape from reality, from troubles that plague the reader and offer the idea of a perfect vacation. Just you, her, and the beach. It feels almost fake, in a way. Just like the escape is. The beach, to me, feels almost false in this poem. The idea of perfection you can escape to from your life,
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one that just… doesn't exist. It’s a false promise, a false hope. I don’t know why reading the poem felt off to me, but it always did. Especially now that I know that this is the poem given to the player when they weren’t romancing Natsuki. It’s a false promise. She didn’t build up the relationship she would have for other routes, so why is she giving you a love poem about escaping away and rediscovering yourself?
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I know it’s weird to look at this poem like this, but following the last two poems we’ve gotten from Natsuki, and the overall shift this game takes after this poem is shown, it feels like a trap. A false promise. An escape from your troubles and issues that won’t solve anything, but would just bury them into the sand with pleasant distractions. There’s a few different thoughts I had about this poem. I did consider dissociation,
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as people who are being abused can begin to develop dissociation to cope with the mental and physical pain. It would make sense for the poem, and it would showcase a coping strategy Natsuki may have taken to deal with her home life. I also thought about it being the false flytrap the game is, a lie that lures in the player with false promises of cute girls with the underlying sense of dread I couldn’t articulate.
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However, I think the point of this poem is escapism. Is being able to do what the poem promises- break away from the horrors of life and find a cozy new life with someone by your side, to have them hold you and do everything they promised you. It’s a false promise you want to be real, you want to escape into. And that’s the point. They want it to be an escape to paradise. And it’s not about you escaping to be with Natsuki. Natsuki isn’t the promised beach. You are.
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You are the escape Natsuki craves, but cannot have. You aren’t trying to romance her, you’re after someone else. Intentional or not, your poems are not catered to her, not inviting her in for that escape. You are the grass on the other side, sweetly green and unreachable by your own hand. Natsuki wants the escape you represent. She wants you to kiss her and hold her close, promise her you’ll protect her from the horrible life she endures. It’s stated several times that the
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club is her safe haven, her escape, and this poem is asking you to become a part of that. To be the beach that washes away her worries and protects her, helps her forget. Even if just for a moment. Because You. By Natsuki neckbreaker. Day four, romantic interest. Tomorrow will be brighter with me around But when today is dim, I can only look down. My looking is a little more forward Because you look at me. When I want to say something, I say it with a shout!
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But my truest feelings can never come out. My words are a little less empty Because you listen to me. When something is above me, I reach for the stars. But when I feel small, I don't get very far. My standing is a little bit taller Because you sit with me. I believe in myself with all of my heart. But what do I do when it's torn all apart? My faith is a little bit stronger Because you trusted me. My pen always puts my feelings to the test. I'm not a good writer, but my best is my best.
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My poems are a little bit dearer Because you think of me. Because you, because you, because you. This poem confirms so much about Natsuki’s character. It’s the first true, deep poem she digs out of her and puts onto a piece of paper with emotional vulnerability. This is Natsuki bearing her soul to you. She admits to how often her words are void, simple defenses she builds for herself to stop from being hurt. How much she cares for you,
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adores you, how much you build her up and make her stronger with your trust and belief. How she believes herself not to be a good writer, but they become more honest and open with you around. This poem is the most simplistic of them, and it’s the most raw one Natsuki delivers. That escape she was waiting for, that person she craved in the beach poem, came true into this one. You became her beach, the warm rays that helped her grow with confidence. You don’t erase her issues,
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you don’t help her ignore her issues. You help her grow, help her be able to look at her issues and believe that she can tackle them. That she isn’t alone, not anymore. It’s a beautiful poem born from love and trust from a character who struggles showing that. This is Natsuki truly opening up, allowing her walls to break down. It’s wonderful, and it shows just how much Natsuki can grow with a little help, and how much she could flourish in the right environment.
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Ah, what a wonderful outcome this is for Natsuki. I’m sure that nothing could go wrong and undo all of this. Hey, uh, Sayori. Where are you going? Wait, no, don’t listen to Monika- There are two new poems left for Natsuki in the second act, and both aren’t exactly… conventional poems. These poems are the direct result of the changes Monika makes to the game, caused by the changes and glitches she produces.
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Case in point: The first poem is written in Base64 code. It looks like this in the game. Translated, the poem is as follows. Open Your Third Eye. By Natsuki neckbreaker. Third day, with two poems that appeal to Natsuki. I can feel the tenderness of her skin through the knife, as if it were an extension of my sense of touch. My body nearly convulses. There's something incredibly faint, deep down, that screams to resist this uncontrollable pleasure. But I can already tell that
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I'm being pushed over the edge. I can't... I can't stop myself. Natsuki isn’t shown to participate in self harm in any part of the game. And from the way the poem is written, it talks about a second her. Not Natsuki. This poem is about Yuri. About Yuri getting hurt, and Natsuki watching. Enabling it. Helping her. We’re never given any proof that Natsuki does take part in helping Yuri with this, and I don’t
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believe that Natsuki ever would, either. Even if Natsuki does accuse Yuri of hurting herself, it’s an accusation built from the stress Monika had inflicted upon both Natsuki and Yuri. I don’t believe this accusation was meant to come out in this accusatory manner, and I believe Natsuki would have tried to help Yuri in a much better light if Monika wasn’t tampering with her file. As we can see later in the game, when Yuri’s possessiveness grows, natsuki’s seems
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to almost go back to normal. Natsuki willingly asks you to spend more time with yuri to try and help her instead of trying to take advantage of Yuri’s terrible behavior like Monika was. This poem is about how Natsuki hurts Yuri. Natsuki says terrible things to people, and she knows it. I believe this poem is a representation of how she delves into her terrible behaviors of lashing out at others. Natsuki is shown to have very little power in her life, and having that type of
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authority over others can be downright addicting for people. For Natsuki, her lashing out violently at others is her knife. Digging into their skin, hurting them. Harmful and addictive, all at once. It’s also a representation of Monika’s interference with both her and Yuri. Both of them begin to give into their darker thoughts and impulses due to her tampering. However, while Natsuki is able to stop herself and ask for help,
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Yuri cannot. Yuri might not have had that faint voice screaming to stop, and thus why she didn’t. It’s a tragic poem that is a cry for help, hidden behind a cipher the player would be helpless to translate. Unable to stop herself, helplessly watching on as the world around her crumbles confusingly. Until, finally, Natsuki manages to reach out for help. Natsuki’s request, written by natsuki. Don’t tell Monika she wrote this. I don't know how else to bring this up. But there's been
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something I've been worried about. Yuri has been acting kind of strange lately. You've only been here a few days, so you may not know what I mean. But she's not normally like this. She's always been quiet and polite and attentive… things like that. Okay... This is really embarrassing, but I'm forcing myself to suck it up. The truth is, I'm REALLY worried about her. But if I try talking to her, she'll just get mad at me again.
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I don't know what to do. I think you're the only person that she'll listen to. I don't know why. But please try to do something. Maybe you can convince her to talk to a therapist. I've always wanted to try being better friends with Yuri, and it really hurts me to see this happening. I know I'm going to hate myself later for admitting that, but right now I don't care. I just feel so helpless. So please see if you can do something to help. I don't want anything bad to happen to her
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I'll make you cupcakes if I have to. Just please try to do something. As for Monika... I don't know why, but she's been really dismissive about this. It's like she just wants us to ignore it. So I'm mad at her right now, and that's why I'm coming to you about this. DON'T LET HER KNOW I WROTE THIS!!!! Just pretend like I gave you a really good poem, okay? I'm counting on you. Thanks for reading. This poem is everything. This poem shows the game, and Natsuki, in a new light.
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This poem is why I love Natsuki so much, why her work means everything. This poem is a direct cry for help. It’s not even a poem. It’s a message, begging for the player to do something. Natsuki is sucking up everything and throwing her true emotions onto the page. Not hidden behind rhythms or symbolism. This is just a letter given to you, written from a concerned friend to another. And Natsuki isn’t even asking for help for herself. She’s asking for you to convince
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Yuri to get help for her rapidly dropping mental health. Natsuki is worried about Yuri, and is disregarding everything to try and achieve help. She’s not trying to take advantage of you or the awkwardness, isn’t trying to drag Yuri away from the man she wants. This is the only piece of paper given to the player that isn’t a poem. And isn’t that the beautiful tragedy of it? Natsuki goes through so much effort to deliver
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this poem to you, trying desperately to obtain help for a friend who desperately needs therapy. She disregards her own worries and insecurities, disregards the rules of the literature club, of the game. She writes a cry for help, begging for you to notice, to do something. But you can’t. You’re as helpless as she is. And when Monika finds out, she erases it. Erases the letter and Natsuki’s memory of writing it. Undoing all of her effort in less than a few seconds. Eagles can fly.
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But people can try. Natsuki can try. But that’s about it.
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